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I’ve had my share of the technical blog talk of late… as I’m sure all of you have too!  Thank you for indulging me in my last post.  You all are the best!   :) 

I’m focusing on the fact that whatever will be, will be on the little blog o’ mine.  :)

So instead of the Beautify your Blog post, I want to get a teensy personal today {gulp} and share a great big flaw of mine.

Who knows.  Maybe some of you can relate. 

We all want to BE forgiven for our many many wrongs, don’t we? But sometimes we tend to hoard that same forgiveness from others. 

Okay, is that just me??

I’m what you could call a sensitive person.  I can’t watch terribly disturbing shows or movies without dwelling on them for hours or sometimes days later.

I’ll never forget when my hubby and I were newly dating, and he was so excited to show me his favorite movie… Seven.  After the credits rolled, I was so seriously freaked, I cried. 

That was one of those most disturbing movies I think I’ve ever seen. It’s about a serial killer who killed people based on the seven deadly sins from Proverbs, just in case you were wondering.

After Chris watches or hears something horridly awful on Dateline or 20/20 or even the regular old news nowadays, he has this magical ability to just turn it off in his brain and sleep like a baby. 

I’m a muser and a dweller.  I just can’t get stuff outta my head for some unknown reason.

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This has proved interesting in our marriage too.  A statement made by Chris and promptly forgotten is ingested and analyzed and stewed over by me. 

:)

I was gripped recently with some liberating thoughts on forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is not a magical feeling that suddenly comes over you and allows you to let things go and move on.  As hard as it is, Forgiveness is just a choice. 

True Forgiveness is a choice to release the person who hurt us from the pain they have caused.  — M. Southerland, GiG

That was a powerful thought to me.  Sometimes when I’m hurt, I want to hang onto those melancholy feelings and feel sad and dramatic just a little bit longer.  Almost as if I need to let the hurt FULLY mature and run its course.  Or something else equally bizarre and irrational.

What I’m saying is how I feel about the hurt is more important than forgiving the hurt. –M.Southerland

It’s important to recognize that while we can’t control when hurts come, it is completely within our control HOW we respond.  Even when the hurt is overwhelming, and we can’t understand why or how something happened, we can make a choice to forgive… just as we have received full and abundant forgiveness.

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This last quote from Southerland really hit me hard…

Forgiveness is not limited to those who deserve it,  those who apologize, or those who change! 

Say what?

I think I sometimes operate under the assumption that my forgiveness should only be awarded to those whose apologies and contriteness meet my criteria and approval. 

But that isn’t grace.  That isn’t Christ. 

In our moment of pain, we may want to hang onto the hurt and feel sorry for ourselves a while longer, but letting go is the best choice we can make… for ourselves AND for the health of our relationships. 

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Please do not get me wrong… I definitely have not mastered this concept… by any means. 

Just ask my long suffering hubby.   :)

Any fellow worrier, muser, dwellers out there? What do YOU do to turn off your brain?

Linking up at  Weekend Bloggy Link up, Bowl Full of Lemons, the 36th Avenue, Five Days Five Ways, and Someday Crafts.