When working w/kids, you will inevitably run across a monster, and you have to wonder what kind of adult they are going to end up being.
When I run across an adult whose behavior is less than desirable, I often think about the fact that that is what happens when a child is left undisciplined.
Along those lines. one of my pet peeves is grown men and women (mostly women, I’m afraid) who somehow are unable to just be NICE! You know… what your mother always told you, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.” Is that so hard?
Or… at the very least, if you are going to “express your opinion” then have the courage to stand behind your words. It’s easy to be nasty to someone when you’re anonymous, right?
All this to say that I’ve had an anonymous visitor right here on my very own little blog.
Isn’t that nice? Well, not so much. :)
The first comment was on the BJU Radio Address post…
“WOW! I also went to Ambassador, but honestly, I do not find anything humorous about that video. It is sad to think that such an announcement would be made, and thought necessary. I agree that the language on our college campuses has declined, and that our Christian young men and women have lost the idea of holiness in their language and conduct. Though it was not necessary for them to be so graphic in their language.”
I think this is pretty funny b/c anonymous is actually agreeing with what was said on this video, not to mention missing the point that he mispronounced half the words and misrepresented the etymology of these “bad” words. Really, was it necessary to post this comment of how they disagreed with me on something so unimportant on MY blog? If they would have just listened to their mother… “If you don’t have anything nice to say….”
This one was just posted on “The Wadester is now 6 weeks old” and thus prompted me writing this blog in rebuttal. :)
“Is that good for Wade to get less than he is suppposed to at this age? I’ve never heard of depriving your baby to get him to sleep. Doctors don’t recommend sleep training until 3 months. Babies need their nourishment more often at smaller amounts b/c of their stomach size. You shouldn’t try something so drastic w/o talking to his doctor first.”
I’m assuming that this is from the same anonymous visitor, and this one just seems mean spirited to me. Like as a new mother, I’m not giving myself enough of a guilt trip for so many things. I really need more criticism to add to my negative feelings of self worth. :)
This one is funny also that they would say Wade’s not getting enough nourishment when he is often eating every 3-4 hours around the clock! Us giving him an ounce or two less for one feeding at night is not depriving him. Especially when so many other people I talk to are telling me theirs were sleeping through the night by this age.
So I say again, If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. Unless of course, you’re willing to stand behind what you say and sign your name to it.
Hmmmm, …. sorry to hear about the comments. I do agree with the sentiment that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it. I am sorry to hear that you are getting some “anonymous” comments… the comment about your parenting skills would probably have pushed me over the edge as well. I am a FIRM believer in the point that what is right for one, is not right for all, and just b/c another mother does something differently than I do or would, I have NO room to judge. Her children may be totally different individuals from my own two. (Who btw, are completely different from each other,… and what works for one, doesn’t work for the other.) All that to say, I do not feel it is nice or appropriate to make judgments on someone else, nor is it okay for you to feel bad about your methods. -YOU are Wade’s Mom and YOU know best when it comes to his care. I feel you have every right to be frustrated by the sudden occurrence of these comments… this is YOUR blog, and if people don’t like or agree with your opinions, they don’t have to read your blog again. Simple, isn’t it?! ;)
Where do I begin .. UM You go girl.. I would love to see them post something on mine. LOL…. um guess I wont be getting mother of the year award anytime since I did the less ounces in the middle of the night (IT WORKED BY THE WAY) and my kids are high in weight and height and totally healthy.. and if I had to call a dr for every little parenting choice I made them they would just come live with me .. ha ha … Your doing great and the video was so funny for the person who left the comment.. it was funny.. I laughed but I have a life so I would.. Have a great day and GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR PARENTING ADVICE… sorry renee but I am venting now..
That IS annoying that they’d do so anonymously, as well as even bothering to say something so negative at all! I always view blogs as being invited to people’s “living room” in an open house forum. You know, say your comment, but remember, it’s THEIR blog, so be nice.
Since I heartily concur with Ellen and Amy, I’ll just say, “you go, girl!”
And pffftt! to Anonymous. (Btw, “pfffft” is my version of childishly sticking my tongue out, hee hee!)
Hi Renee, this is Sara, you probably don’t remember me, but I go to Lighthouse, where Jen and Mack were in CT.
As a Christian, I know I can respectfully disagree with others around me. The first anonymous comment didn’t seem very rude or mean to me, it was just that, a comment, on what you posted. It was someone’s opinion on something completely outside of your personal life. If that person had attacked you personal integrity then I would say they were wrong, but when is it wrong to disagree with someone?
In regard to the second comment, wouldn’t you rather someone call to your attention something that may be detrimental to your child’s well being as opposed to ignoring it and just saying “well, that’s what they choose to do”. I for one, read many “Mommy blogs” and have commented on some before when I’ve seen children inappropriately strapped into carseats, or positioned wrong in the car, well before a first birthday. I’ve said these things kindly, and it’s up to the blogger to determine how they are going to handle a kind comment. If I saw someone out at the store, or in any other setting, I would do the same thing. Some people may see that as rude or not minding my own business, but if a child’s safety is involved then I feel I would irresponsible to not speak up.
All of that said, I think the person that made the comment about Wade sleeping through the night had good intentions, but probably could have worded things better and identified themselves.
I wish you the best Renee and I hope Wade starts sleeping through the night soon!
drama llama!!
Okay Renee… WoW!!!!! drama lama is so grown up sounding.. I am on fire… And I called my friend (nurse)just to say were right and WE ARE!!!! It is okay to lessen the middle of the night feedings somewhat after the first few weeks .. If you feed a baby they will eat.. If you fed it every hour they would eat… For someone to remain anonymous shouldn’t have that many comments anyway.. Says to me they are scared .. Anyways this is too funny and sad that some people just have so many opinions that are HURTFUL!!!! Drama Lama I’ll have to use that with the kids I keep daily!!!Love ya girl
Okay… you know that I am NOT afraid of any drama and I somehow missed the Wade post or I would have said something in response!
It is MY opinion that the 1st comment about the BJU post, was not to just have an opinion on the post, but to come off as the typical holier than thou Ambassadorite who didn’t even get the point of the whole video! It was not Nay’s point to say that all of those words are appropriate or holy, but it was pretty funny (if you have a life) that they mispronounced them and they did not understand the true origins of the words. That is fine if people want to comment, but for grief sake, stand behind what you say! It drives me crazy when people cannot just sign their name… How hard is that?
As to the Wade comment, why can’t people just mind their own business? Did she say she is going to just let him cry when he is hungry and Not feed him? No. There is nothing wrong with giving them a few ounces and then putting them back down. I’m so tired of other Moms feeling it is their place to comment on how you are choosing to parent your child. Giving him a few less ounces at night is NOT a safety concern… Get a grip… And to insinuate that she is depriving him of nutrition after what she went through with Haylee is just wrong and low. I don’t care how you are trying to say it! If you were a real friend and REALLY cared, and it wasn’t just about drama, you would sign your name! Also, to say “Drama Lama” is just ridiculous and childish… If you are the same person and espouse to be an Ambassador Alum you would have some Christian compassion and realize that it obviously bothered her and not further antagonize the situation.
And even if she was just causing drama… this is HER blog… She can cause drama if she wants too… you can continue to comment if you want to, that’s fine, just stop being a coward and sign your name.
-Bette Anne Stroud
see… how hard was that?
I am the one who said “drama llama” and no, i do not have a log-in. And I tried to enter with my name but for some reason it wouldn’t publish my comment. I found that ironic, and when I tried using anonymous, it went right through. Irony at its best.
I get flamed for jokingly saying, “drama llama” which was not pointed at anyone whatsoever, but you all can say that the person who commented on the video “has no life” or is “holier than thou” which, in my opinion, is to turn around and do the same thing.
Go back and re-read the comment about the video. Nothing was said to hurt Renee’s character, or to disagree with her. The person simply said that they thought it was a shame that the announcement at BJU was necessary and that it really wasn’t funny to them. Do I get angry when people don’t think things are funny when I do? Because to say that this anonymous poster was being rude is basically to say that Renee thought it was funny and the person did not, so Renee is mad that the person didn’t agree with her? A bit ridiculous.
As for the comment about giving less ounces of formula to the baby, the person just gave a suggestion. I can imagine other things that could have been said if the person was not well-intentioned.
With all that said, the internet is a public forum. If you don’t want public comments then make your blog private.
Poor Renee. If anyone knows how you feel it’s me. Don’t you love it when you write something to tell people about your life or to share something you thought was funny and then someone comes along and over analyses it, breaks it down, and then criticizes you for it. At least in my case, I knew who that person was.
In response to the people who said that the anonymous post could have just been trying to help. I was open minded and thought about how this could be possible because often in writing the writers message can get confused, since 75% of communication is through tone and expression. So I went back and tried to read those comments in a nice and happy voice. That was just not possible. Whoever wrote those post made sure that their message was not a kind or friendly one. In the first comment s/he could have just said the part about how she agreed with the BJU speech and that language had deteriorated, but s/he made sure to let us know that s/he attended Ambassador and I can’t imagine why that would be relevant if it was intended to be a kind post, but it seems that s/he wants to establish an opposing opinion with the same authority, hence the “I also went to Ambassador”. Also the use of “honestly” is not necessary when conveying a pleasant message. Honestly, I think whoever wrote that comment is very bitter at the world and seems to hate the world instead of love the world. John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. If I was representing something that is supposed to stand for God and his principals I would make sure that I did an extra careful job of not sounding like they think of themselves so highly. It sounds to me that God didn’t do any favors for that person. S/he sound like they are holy enough on their own. I feel sorry for them. I also attended Ambassador and I have seen that happen many times.
As for the second post. It has less to stand on then then the first. S/he did not ask if it was okay to give Wade less. S/he said, “is it good for him to get less than he is supposed to”. Supposed to. No it’s not good to give him less then he’s supposed to, but that’s not what she said. Also, when writing a kind post don’t use the word “depriving” when you are referring to something a mother is doing to a child. Last, but not least. S/he said that a Doctor didn’t recommend it until 3 months. Well I just looked it up and it seems that that statement was made up. Obviously, this person is not a mother or a father because every mother and father knows how sensitive mothers are about their children especially in the first few months.
This person also doesn’t know Renee or they would know how much that particular comment would hurt her.
Renee, know that as soon as the people who love you read that hateful statement we just wanted to give you a hug and tell you that you are a good mother and you have done a great job with your children.
I hate when you make yourself vulnerable and put yourself out there to keep friends and family informed and to share your world with people and someone has to be a coward and take every little thing you say and turn it and twist it and over analyze it and then judge you without ever showing their face. I’m so glad I got this opportunity to give a little analyzing back.
I just said a little prayer for that persons bitter heart. I hope Jesus helps them see how to love.
Look how many support your comments .. Keep blogging girl, I love it!!!!! and by the way one of the comments on here (ARe you trying to get us flammed anymore) …. Hello…. It sounded rude and so drama lama!!!!
Yeah its a public forum but lets keep peoples feelings in mind please! I only read people’s blogs that I know. I have a life and could careless about people I don’t know. So where are all these people coming from? Are there really that many people in this world who sit and read people they don’t knows blog? Wow I guess I have been in a different world. Some people really do not have a life. Well I hope you continue to blog. I love it!!! You can so tell that there are so many Christians are on your side because with so many other people words would have been flying everywhere with all this drama!! Ha
Although this kind of thing hasn’t happened to me yet (knock on wood) I firmly believe that it is the action of someone desperately seeking attention. They read your blog, read the other (supportive) comments, and figure you’re an easy way to get some attention.
My advice to Anonymous is GET YOUR OWN BLOG and comment about stuff there…
Okay… whew! Not really what I wanted to happen when I posted this blog. I’m going to do my best to refrain from responding to things that I would like to respond to, b/c I do think that enough has been said on the subject thanks to the rad friends who have my back in an extraordinary way.
I do indeed feel soooo incredibly loved and supported by you guys! I don’t think you really know what it meant to hear your encouraging words, b/c while I know I shouldn’t care what people I don’t know say about me… for some reason, it’s hard not to.
I have disabled “anonymous” posting, and hopefully that will at least help with the negativity. Because that is not what my blog is for. It’s not a debate forum. It’s just a place where I talk about the mundane details of my life… why people who don’t know me would care is beyond me!
Thanks again to everyone!!!!! :)
Wow Renee, what a pain in the butt! I was having comments left on my blog which were deisgned to send people to bogus pages. I finally set up comment moderation – though it would still hurt if you read it I suppose. I used to comment as “anonymous” but left my name in the comment until I finally got my computer to sign me in.
I did want to say that I think your methods with Wade are a wonderful idea. My friend always fed her babies every 2 hours all day long. This made them VERY FULL and they slept all night long. Usually they started sleeping all night long at around 2 or 3 weeks. And it sure helped her sanity to have her baby sleeping and letting her sleep.
I’m curious though, is this new method working? Since I read the post I have been wondering – did it work, are they sleeping? Fill us in – and I think you are an awesome Mom. All anyone has to do is look at Hayley and they will know that. She is a healthy, extremely bright, and fun little girl.
So to “anonymous” – grow up and sign your name. If you can’t log in then put your name in the comment when you finish. Not hard to do – duh! Here I will show you how.
– Amy
I’m so disappointed that an ABC grad has caused so much controversy by demonstrating such a know-it-all attitude. This incident desparages the reputation of an otherwise humble, non-invasive, open-minded alumni. On behalf of the alumni of ABC, please accept my sincerest apologies for this one misguided exception!