I had to share this letter someone shared recently… It’s a reminder of how important it is to teach your children following Christ is not about a list of rules and appearances but rather a relationship with Him.
These paragraphs were so touching and so telling…
But they forgot about our hearts. They forgot that the Bible never commanded the church to teach children about God and His ways. That responsibility was laid at the feet of our fathers. Unfortunately, our fathers don’t have time for us. They put us where we are surrounded by the Bible. But they didn’t take time to show us that God was important enough to them to tell us personally about Him. So to us, Christianity has become a religion of externals. Do all the right stuff, and you’re a good Christian. So, some of us walk away from church. Some of us stay in church and fill a pew. Many of us struggle with stuff that our parents have no idea about because they hardly know us.
I think these problems stem from first, our detachment from our parents, and second from our misunderstandings about the essence of Christianity—a relationship, not a list of rules. I worry that many young people like me are not even saved because of their misunderstandings about Christianity.
It’s a scary thing these days trying to raise kids that will love and honor God. It’s been a concern of mine since my college days, seeing others who grew up in Christian homes and environments but had seemed to turn their back on a life lived for Christ.
One thing Chris and I wanted for our kids was to be in an environment that did NOT put the emphasis on a list of do’s and don’ts. We want them to see that following Christ is truly about a relationship with Him and not about what ‘Brother So and So’ thinks of you.
Seriously. Hurting my testimony does NOT simply mean that ‘Brother So and So’ is going to be outraged or give a tsk, tsk at my action, whatever it may be. Whether the more legalistic Christian likes it or not, we do have FREEDOM in Christ. We are not bound to the law or any other man made list of rules. Rather, ‘Brother So and So’ is the one that is ‘hurting his testimony’ by his treatment of ones who do not adhere to his particular set of standards.
The Fruit of the Spirit is about as ‘black and white clear’ as you’re gonna get as far as how we should ‘act.’ How much better that we focus our energy on those things…. ‘love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance…’ instead of less black and white things like pants, music, your tv show is wicked but mine isn’t etc.
I do pray that as we raise our kids and they reach the dreaded rebellious years that we will have instilled in them these principles so deeply that they realize they do not simply answer to mom and dad for the life they live and the choices they make, but they more importantly answer to God and are accountable to Him.
I apologize if this is coming off as a rant. I tend to get worked up about these things before I know it.
How sad for this girl and for all the other confused kids out there just like her…
Renee….I saw this earlier and I agree with you; I really think it stems from what I call and OUTWARD christianity mentality–not inward relationship, attitude, and Chritianity of the heart . Those people emphasize that you follow a MAN (not God)and live to follow THEIR rules. They live only outwardly (good at church, front of people, etc) and then go home and live totally different so their children see the hypocrisy and don't want anything to do w/it.(A good illustration is they only get or truly see enough "Christianity" to be, in a sense, IMMUNIZED from it).
On the other hand,I also think it's ok–and good– to have standards if you really believe they are what GOD wants you to have/live by and you don't worry about or judge others since each of us will stand before Christ ALONE!
I am just thankful my parents raised me always saying: "live to please the Lord,not man" and that they were an example of doing just that. I only hope I can raise my kids to live for ONLY God as well.
Sorry SOOOoo long….I always enjoy your thought provoking posts and questions! =)
Good post Renee. I want and need a relationship with God and to read His word to let me know how I should live. We ought to be God pleasers, not man pleasers. A lack of love has led us away from the independent fundamental church, but not away from God. Other things contributed to our decision that I will not go into, but differing standards were a big part for me. Freedom in Christ is wonderful! He paid the price to fulfill the law and I am free! Thanks for raising your children to love the Lord and have a personal relationship with Him. I don't know what I would have done without that relationship through the years.