{As I was reminiscing reading through ancient posts on my old myspace blog, I decided that I needed to repost some here since they are things I just don’t want to forget.}



If you thought last week’s was bad, THIS week’s is REALLY and EXTREMELY sad.


Seriously…



{Originally posted October 5, 2006}


 
Chris’s grandma, aka, Nanny, passed away early Sunday morning, October 1st.  She was diagnosed with cancer only 2 months earlier, August 4th. 

This was so much sooner than any of us were ready for.

Just a few weeks ago, none of us could have predicted her fall and subsequent rapid decline.  On Friday, Chris’s mom informed us that Hospice indicated Nanny most likely had only 2 weeks to live, but to not be surprised if it was a week. 

Then, Saturday we got the call that things were not looking good for her.  They called all the family to come and we all gathered at her house that day with the sense that this was going to be our last day with Nanny.  It was heartbreaking to see her so not like herself,  in so much pain.

As some of the family gathered around her bed early in the day Saturday, PawPaw asked her what she was waiting for and told her it was okay for her to go.  She replied with a definite no. She wasn’t going until that night.  She said she needed to go play bingo one last time.  Ironically, Saturday night was her weekly night to go play bingo.  She even told PawPaw to go get him a sweetheart and walk her down the aisle. Somehow, she managed to keep her humor to the end.

She slipped into a coma sometime in the afternoon around 2 pm , but shortly before that she asked PawPaw to lie down in bed with her.  He was hesitant because of her broken bones and intense pain everywhere, but finally relented.  They lay there together for about 10 minutes with Nanny’s head resting on PawPaw’s shoulder, and talked with one another.  She asked him to hold her tight, and the last words she spoke before slipping into a coma were to PawPaw. 

She said… “I love you.”

Most of the family left that night assuming that there would be news for them soon.  The 4 brothers and sisters spent the night there with PawPaw and Darlene, Nanny’s sister.  About 1:05 am the last light and tv was turned off  in the house.  Three of the brothers and sisters slept in the living room with Nanny and at 1:10 am, they all three sat up at the same time and said, “She’s not breathing.” 

Even in her death, she was the same unselfish soul. She waited until everyone had gone to bed and no one would be watching before she slipped away.   I’m sure she was thinking it would be too traumatic for anyone to witness…  Again, ironically, 1:10 am, the time she died, was her routine time for coming in from her Bingo night…

Before heading over to the house Sunday morning to be with the family, we sat down with Haylee to try to explain to her what had happened.  I didn’t want her to be asking a million questions when we got there and Nanny wasn’t there.  We all sat on the couch together, and I reminded her that Nanny had been really sick and hurting a lot.  I explained that now she wasn’t hurting anymore because she had gone home to Heaven with Jesus.  She seemed glad about Nanny not being hurt, and asked if her shoulder was better, her head better, her hand better etc.  

She seemed accepting of everything we were saying until I tried to compare it to our dog, Abby that had died when Haylee was about 18 mo’s old.  I asked her if she remembered when Abby got hit by a car and died and we had to bury her.   I told her that was what happened to Nanny. She didn’t get hit by a car, but she died. 

The understanding dawned on her face and she gasped with her mouth wide open and distress in her face and voice, “Oh! If Nanny died, then I won’t get to see her anymore!” 

That was too much for Chris and I to take. 

She was so innocent in her understanding, but she knew enough to realize her sweet times with Nanny were something she didn’t want to have to give up.  She wasn’t sure what to do with us crying, and asked me, “Is Daddy crying?”  

She also wanted to know when Nanny was coming home from Heaven.  It was so hard for her to understand all this heavy stuff…

On Monday we went to the funeral home for the private viewing for the family.   In the parking lot, I tried to explain that this was just Nanny’s body, but Nanny was really in Heaven.  It didn’t make much sense to her though, because once she saw Nanny there she asked, “Is this Heaven?” 

It made sense to her that if Nanny was here and Nanny was supposed to be in Heaven, then this must be Heaven.

PawPaw said that Nanny was now with her other family… the three babies that she lost.  It somehow eases our pain to know that she is finally reunited with her babies.  She had two miscarriages, and also lost a baby at 9 mo’s old.  We will miss her, but we know that she is finally out of pain.

We will see her again someday….

Those pink sequined slippers Haylee is wearing were a special gift Nanny picked up for her despite her health… just because she KNEW Haylee would flip for them.


She was right.


I knew her such a short time, but it is so hard to believe it’s almost been FIVE years…