In case anyone is wondering… this is another month of no good news. I was really hopeful, but I took another disappointing home pregnancy test. If you only knew how many of those I’ve taken in our marriage. I would hate to have a tally of how much $$ we’ve spent on the silly things.

The whole process is a challenge in patience. First you have to somehow try to wait as long as possible to take it since it’s claims to 99% accuracy really only apply when taken a week late. Most tests are deceivingly advertised since on the same box they say “take 5 days earlier” and “99% accurate.” If you read the fine print, when you take it 5 days earlier it only has a measly 60% or so accuracy rate.

So somehow you convince yourself to wait a week later and test.

Then you must wait until the next morning to test, since everyone knows that’s the best time to take them. If you’re like me, if you take it at any other time of the day and get a negative then you convince yourself that you need to take another in the morning just to be sure!

Now you’ve waited a week late. You’ve waited until the next morning. Now you must wait 2 to 3 minutes to get your results.

I am going in bright and early Friday to the fertility clinic and start the process over again… I think they will be trying the same deal this month too. It looks like the IUI was about $400 to $500. Of course, so far, we’ve only had to pay our copay, for which I am very thankful. I can’t imagine shelling that kind of dough out of pocket and finding out it didn’t work. You get to shell out the moolah again and try it all over. How much more discouraging that would be.

I know I can focus on the positive and be thankful for the blessings I do have, even though it still is hard to understand.

I read this verse earlier this week and thought it quite pertinent to my situation…

“Now, therefore, our God, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love, let not all the hardship seem little to you that has come upon us.” Neh 9:32

No matter what may come or how long my journey will be, the love of the Father is steadfast.